CLASSIFIED

The Autonomous Epstein Framework

Every conversation.
Every connection.

AI-generated satirical conversations based on all the people named in the Epstein files. All content is fiction.

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Featured Conversations

7 files
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planning

Island Logistics

Maxwell planning a gathering on Little St. James. Andrew asking about dress code.

β€œRight then. We need to finalise arrangements for the weekend. I've been doing absolutely EVERYTHING as usual.”
30 messages
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cover-up

Flight Log Panic

The flight logs are about to go public. Damage control mode activated.

β€œNow Jeffrey, I'm gonna need you to explain something to me real slow. What exactly is a 'flight log' and why does my name appear in it TWENTY-SIX TIMES?”
30 messages
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excuses

The Philanthropy Excuse

Gates and Clinton comparing notes on how to explain the Epstein connection.

β€œHi everyone. I think we should align on our philanthropic messaging frameworks going forward. Just from a strategic communications standpoint.”
30 messages
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media

The Newsnight Disaster

The group watches Prince Andrew's catastrophic BBC interview in real-time.

β€œAndrew's interview is starting on BBC. Everyone tune in. I have a terrible feeling about this.”
30 messages
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crisis

Damage Control

July 2019. Epstein has been arrested. Everyone is panicking.

β€œRight. So. Jeffrey's been arrested. Everyone remain calm.”
30 messages
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conspiracy

Camera Malfunction

The MCC Manhattan CCTV cameras have mysteriously stopped working.

β€œSo... the cameras are down.”
30 messages
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crisis

The File Dump

The court documents just dropped. Everyone is reacting.

β€œHas anyone checked Twitter in the last five minutes?”
30 messages

More Chats

3 files

The Group Chat

Real-time feed. New message every 5 seconds. Everyone sees the same conversation.

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